10 qualities to qualify as a politician

Eh... gambar siapa ni ?

I think the following 10 qualities are a pre requisite to be a successful politician in Malaysia :-

1) Practise racial politics. Constantly remind the masses of the May 13 incident and always assure the masses that only your politics assure stability and peace;

2) Practise double standards. Always tell others to do things that you yourself don't practice;

3) Never keep your word and always say " we are trying our best" and " we are forming a working committee to look into the matter". Amnesia is to be the preferred ailment of choice should there be a confrontation of facts. Always say " I cant remember";

4) Try to assist as many family members to obtain permits, contracts, tenders and other things that generally tend to show that you practise corruption, nepotism and favoritism;

5) Arrest and detain anyone for having a different set of views from that of your own. Use the inhumane laws to arbitrarily detain anyone without trial;

6) Ensure that all the papers, tv, radio and all other media carry reports that are favourable to you. All others must be shamed and ridiculed;

7) Implement policies that generally favour yourself, family, friends and all other cronies;

8) Always stay on way past your due date. Always insist that only you are able to provide leadership and that you are still needed for party and country;

9) Make giant pictures/posters of yourself and put them up everywhere. This will ensure that you remain close to the people at all times;

10) Never take responsibility for any wrong doing and always say that you were misquoted and it was others that were responsible.

Care to add to the list anyone ?

Cheers,

M V Nathan